Figurative Language? Go Figure

Today's activity: compose a Haiku poem using one of three types of figurative language (metaphor, simile, personification). What? Did I give criteria? One wouldn't think so after reading the poems created. Maybe I am speaking in a foreign tongue? OR Maybe the students don't understand figurative language even though I have been teaching it for over a week and they role their eyes each time it is mentioned.

Possible Haiku:

Metaphors, Simi-
les, personification
too is difficult.

Does this make sense? Maybe I should try hyperbole!

Happy Halloween....oops! Can't Say That!

What is Halloween in education? Just another day for students to learn....Whatever happened to celebrating the "fun" part of halloween? As a child, the best day was when we could dress up, march around the building and eat great homemade snacks made with (dare I say it?) SUGAR! Today, students can't dress up (may offend someone) and parents and teachers aren't supposed to offer "sugar" snacks (because the obesity problem is directly linked to the classroom consumption of sugar during the 1 halloween party).

PLEASE?! Why can't students enjoy this one event of the year? Why must all good things be put aside? Is this because we are being considerate of one another's beliefs or can't we miss one minute of instruction due to the upcoming state testing?

It's a sad day when the "great pumpkin" isn't so great anymore....

Waste of Time? You betcha!

What does a teacher want to do during a professional day without students? Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Whatever happened to spending time grading papers, tests and looking at assessment data to prepare lesson plans?

I suppose that is what planning time (which is filled with meetings) and home time is for....

Welcome to teaching! Is this worth having summer's off? I don't think so....

The Top 10 Whines

The top 10 whines for this school year (which began 30 days ago)

10. Students who have run out of paper already! (Come on, buy 4 packs at Walmart! It's only 25 cents)
9. Students who have "lost my pencil"...what? You only have one???
8. The "teacher pleaser"... everyday, stop helping! It is quite annoying after awhile.
7. The "in your face" student. Did I forget to unhook your leash? Please don't hover around me..give me my space.
6. The "questioner!" Stop asking questions that I have already answered twice before. PAY ATTENTION! OR Do you just like the sound of my voice?
5. Mystery students! Put your name on your papers! I am not Sherlock Holmes.
4. The never ceasing hall pass...come to class and stay put! You don't need to go to the nurse or use the phone of talk to another teacher EVERY DAY!
3. Out of control bladder.... Is the bathroom lined with gold? Is a rock band performing daily at the same time? Stop adding up your frequent potty minutes..they can't be traded for air miles.
2. Can you get a drink? In the middle of a test? Stop asking, the answer is no...
1. Students who ask what the date is and it is posted in the same spot every day on the board....Maybe glasses are in your future!